I can't believe it's been over three months since I last wrote in my LJ...wow...everything is so much different since then, so much better. I've been with a new boyfriend for almost two months...everything is great, and I'm really happy. I'm done at handy pantry, and work at th day care center full-time. I skipped school until the spring, and i won't be going to england. Rhea and I are still friends, but no more heather. I mostly just chill at home..and go to Brooklyn on weekeneds to see my baby. wow.

reading past entries is so depressing...everything is so much better. I got this from joanne's profile:

FIRSTS
1. First best friend: Tiffany(who I see once in a while, but we're not as tight...barely tight)                                                                                                                                         2. First car: i don't drive
3. First real kiss: i don't remember, but I think it was Angel
4. First break-up: Emmanuel...
5. First screen name: brim702
6. First self-purchased album: *N Sync
7. First funeral: my grandfather on my mother's side
8. First pet: a fish named orland and a frog named benny
9. First piercing: ears when i was an infant
10. First credit card: don't have one
12. First enemy: not sure...maybe elizabeth in the sixth grade.
13. First big trip: Pueto Rico at 4

LASTS
1. Last cigarette: summer
2. Last car ride: after work
3. Last kiss: sunday night
4. Last good cry: when my cell broke ;last month
5. Last library book checked out: heat, by zane
6. Last movie seen in theatres: Saw
7. Last beverage drank: tropicana orange juice
8. Last food consumed: carne guisow and yellow rice with beaths
9. Last crush: ray
10. Last phone call: fred:)
11. Last time showered: this morning
12. Last shoes worn: navy blue and red Timberland
13. Last item bought: Usher album
14. Last annoyance: work
15. Last time wanting to die: yesterday...hard day at work...and got my time of the month
16. Last time scolded: yesterday...


RELATIONSHIPS
1. Who are your best friends?: don't have a lot...mostly just rhea, and probably my man.
2. Do you have a boyfriend? YUP

FASHION:
1. Where is your favorite place to shop? Aeropastel, Old Navy, H&M, Jimmy Jazz, Blue City
2. Any tattoos or piercing? Two on each ear (had three but I got punched), and my right nipple.

SPECIFICS
1. Do you do drugs? Not anymore...i was a little pothead at one point.
2. What kind of shampoo do you use? dove
3. What are you most scared of? dieing alone without being with someone i truly love
4. What are you listening to right now? Destiny's Child "Soldier" featuring TI and Lil' Wayne
5. Where do you want to get married? A pretty Garden
6. How many buddies are online? 36
7. What would you change about yourself? my weight, my trusting ability, my lifestyle...

FAVOURITES
1. Color: black, red, green
2. Food: portabello swiss burger from applebees with a side of mashed potatis, no garden
3. Girls names: Maritza/Josaphine/Winifred
4. Boys Names: Malikia/Shai/Skylar
5. Subjects in school: English
6. Animals: frogs
7. Sports: i hate sports

HAVE YOU EVER?
1. Given anyone a bath? ;)
2. Smoked? yeah
3. Bungee jumped? no
4. Made yourself throw up? yes
5. Skinny-dipped? no
6. Been in love? twice, this is third
7. Made yourself cry to get out of trouble? always
8. Pictured your crush naked? of course...i am human
9. Seen your crush naked? nope
10. Cried when someone died? yeah
11. Lied? fibs
12. Fallen for your best guy friend? yes
13. Been rejected? yes
14. Rejected someone? yes
15. Used someone? no
16. Done something you regret? who doesn't?

CURRENT
1. Clothes? Rocking Monkey pajama bottoms from Aeropastel, and a gray tee.
2. Music? My downloads, at the moment Kendall Payne, Scratch
3. Make-up? no a big fan
4. Annoyance? writting something good
5. Smell? food the grandparents cook down stairs...you can never get the Puerto Rican cooking smell out of the carpet.
6. Favorite artist? My dad
7. Desktop picture? James Marsters from Buffy Ever After
8. Book you're reading? nothing at the moment
9. CD in player? Maroon Five, Usher, and Evanescence 
10. DVD in player? Van Helsling
11. Color of toenails? no color

LAST PERSON
1. You touched? fred
2. Hugged? my step-grandmother
3. You instant messaged? Joanne
4. You kissed? Fred

WHOM DO YOU WANT TO...
1. Kill? no one really...
2. Slap? my dad...
3. Get high with? don't like getting high anymore
4. Look like? Selma Hayek, with a touch of Penelope Cruz
5. Talk to offline? Fred
6. Talk to online? Fred
7. Hang out with? Fred

RANDOM
1. In the morning I am: incoherent
2. All I need is: money and love
3. Love is: looking into that persons eyes, and seeing a cane and a rocking chair...
4. I dream about: my phone getting charged

WHICH IS BETTER?
1. Coke or Pepsi: coke
2. Flowers or candy: flowers
3. Tall or short: tall
4. Liquor or beer? Liquor

RANDOM
1. What do you notice first: build
2. Last person you danced with: rhea
3. Worst question to ask: what do you want to do with the rest of your life.
4. Who makes you laugh the most? rhea
5. Who makes you smile? fred and my aunt
6. Who gives you a funny feeling? fred
7. Who do you have a crush on: justin timberlake, and james marsters;)
8. Who has a crush on you: Keith and Tim

DO YOU EVER...?
1. Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone to instant message you: no
2. Save conversations: yeah...for evidence
3. Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: no
4. Wish you were younger: yes
5. Cry because someone said something to you: yes

NUMBER
1. Of times I have had my heart broken: once
2. Of hearts I have broken: three maybe four...
3. Of guys I've kissed: god...too many toads, ut i believe i have my prince
4. Of girls I've kissed: two maybe three
5. Of continents I have lived on: one
6. Of tight friends: 1
7. Of CDs I own: over 100
8. Of scars on body: Many...i was once a tomboy

Colin Farrell

Which Male Are You Destined To End Up With?
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I fixed my mouse!!!!

I am so upset...my computer is really working so well, due to the fact that my mouse is dead. So I'll have to write "Everything" on paper for a while and transfer it later because I can't work like this. I hate it. But also...I'm going away Friday for a week, so I'm going to take a break, and still write...just no internet...what will power, i tell you.

So my week has been uneventful, except, I saw Darrell yesterday and spoke to Marlon today. I talk to my "friend" everyday. I have big plans for the city...A Buffy marathon with Chris (I helped him fall in love), Dracula in Times Square, time with my cousins, and grandma, plus...SHOPPING SHOPPING SHOPPING...I love shopping. Anyway, I had fun today, chillin with Shenica, and I chilled with her for a bit yesterdya, and also Rat...Other than that...everything's been pretty boring...work work work, and no more friendship with heather and rhea...I'll admit, I miss them...but I'm a good friend, I'm just tired of everyone's shit.

I dunno why, but Tim called me this morning. He said he was checking to see if I was doing okay...so now I sit home alone. Work was crazy, but tomorrow is my last day there so I'm a little sad.

I chilled with Heather and Rhea, and I'm really happy I got the chance to because I missed them. We had ice cream :D...I love ice cream. Reminds me that I have Ben and Jerry's in the freezer, but I really want to lose weight. I'm getting a little to round for my liking.

I got so fucked up yesterday, that I still feel detached today...that was the worst. I don't think I want to see my friend anymore...I'm just bored with him already. Tim called me this morning, and it wasn't all love and puppies. He just wanted to see how I was doing. My stomach feels wonky.

So, yeah...I have to start saving my freaking money because I want to buy a car. I also have to learn how to drive...GOD!!! After last night, i want to be by myself...I am in no mood to fuck up. Tim is right, I have too much going for me to get into that bullshit. I am so tired, and this is my last weekend at the laundromat.

So...I went to work today and fucking cursed at my manager. He really pissed me off. He said I wasn't doing anything cause I didn't fix the fucking carts in the store, and I did. But the rest of the night was good. I got home at nine and called my friend, but he hasn't been answering my calls. I'm hoping he was just home sick, but I have a feeling he's been avoiding me. But hey, it was fun while it lasted.

I'm about to go chill with the boys, and then with darell...no bang, bang though...I'm really just looking to chill not have sex. I been thinking so hard about AIU, but it's mad expensive, and I can't afford it. But it's LONDON!!! I have dreamed of going there so much.

it's hard for me to even believe, but this morning, I had an actual nice conversation with Tim. I told him about the rumors, and after he flipped, I was able to talk to him like he was a normal person. A part of me misses him, a part of me always will, but this is how it's meant to be.

I spent time with my friend yesterday and I have seven mosquito bites...I hate baseball feilds...Anyway, we had a long talk, and it was cool. I like that I'm able to keep my feelings under control, and not get attached to him. It's just nice.

Other than that, I worked today, and Heather was really quiet and Janeth told me, Rhea said things aren't the same since that fight we had. But, then again, she doesn't even try to chill with me anymore, so why should I try. I quit on that friendship...both of them. When they need me, they'll come, but it's just not worth stressing anymore.

I so dont want to go to work. I'm just not feelin it. I don't know...I had a good night Thursday...secrets, secrets, but yesterday, I kinda got tipsey. It's not such a good look on me, because I slurr and get sleepy. I wake up with headaches and some nausea. Othe than that I'm cool. Yesterday morning I got all hype, like "I'm going to get my shit back from Tim, and not pay attention to him." So I get there and knock on the door, his little brother answers and Tim isn't even there. I was pissed off. But I got to chill with Sheila, Ashley, Shayna and these two guys.

I got an interveiw with this guy from AIU- London, on the phone, and I'm excited...it's such a good oppurtunity.

Well, I'll tell you one thing: I'm definetly done with Tim. I spoke to a friend yesterday, and he told me that Tim is on base, and has been sucking dick for that shit. After I got over the initial shock, I was just disgusted with myself, and him. I mean, before I went out with him, there were rumors that he messed with guys before, but I never believed them. You know how it is, everyone always got something to say. But, I don't know...

I'm kind of talking to someone. He's older which is good, and he's mad cool. I'm not looking for a relationship. Just a friend with benefits. The last thing I need is a fucking relationship. Said guy also visited me at work yesterday.

As pissed off as I am at Tim, I just feel bad for him. I can't believe it. I'm fucking...I don't know, going crazy thinking about that shit.

As far as other shit, I've been working my ass of, and all of my fucking friends have been too busy for me. They're always working, or something. Shayna was supposed to come chill with me tonight, but she fucking ditched me and didn't call. I'm heated about that one. Now, Rhea's with her friend Sasha chillin' and she has no fucking time to chill with me.

I did chill with Shenica the other day, and that was mad fun. We were at my house chillin for a while, then we went to Sammy's for some Penne Alla Vodka...good shit. After we saw Brian and Norbert, and talked to them for a few. Then, we went down Port Jeff. and I spent my last twenty bucks on this cute shirt at the Gap. Later, we went to the park and sat on the swings for a while, then came back to my house. There was a whole lot of ruckus because my stepbrothers are back from Florida. So, Shenica and I went to Norbert's, met his son, and just chilled. I had a good time.

LOL...I forgot, David called me a pimp. I was crackin up...it was cute. Anyway, let me get some sleep. I have to continue writing "Everything" tomorrow. I've been slacking.